http://www.thoughtfulconversations.co.uk en-gb thoughtfulconversations.co.uk 2010-12-14T00:00:00Z thoughtfulconversations.co.uk http://www.thoughtfulconversations.co.uk/page8.htm#82713 Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup they slither while they pass they slip away across the universe John LennonIn spite of this warning against verbal pollution from over 25 years ago the number of words used has increased dramatically in recent years. By mobile phone fax email newspaper newscaster politician teacher or graffiti words inundate us. The vast majority of words have no lasting value and are produced without thought and received without thought. However they do have impact and are used to heal to inform to kill time to persuade or to hurt. They also have an endpurpose and are spoken for the benefit of the listener sometimes for the speaker but rarely for mutual benefit. The Four ConversationsWords come together to create conversations conversations are defined as words with a purpose. For our purposes here there are four types of conversation1. The conversation that takes place for the sake of the speaker the Persuasion ConversationThis type of conversa... 2010-12-14 09:43:24 http://www.thoughtfulconversations.co.uk/page8.htm#82709 A few years ago when SUVs were just starting to be popular in the UK there was a news item on the radio about their use the environmental impact of these highfuelconsumption vehicles and whether or not their use should be restricted. One of the people interviewed for the program was a guy whod been driving SUVs for years. As far as he was concerned Its my Godgiven right to put as much lowprice fuel in my vehicle as I want.His remarks have stayed with me since as an example of someone who is living in entitlement rather than from gratitude. We have become used to the idea that we can have the life we want or that abundance is our right.Much of the personal development and coaching world reflects this with claims that you can have it all or that you can make your dreams come true. All well and good perhaps but what often accompanies such ideas is that we are somehow entitled to good fortune rather than being grateful to life for what it gives us.Lets take a look at entitlement and gr... 2010-12-14 09:23:37 http://www.thoughtfulconversations.co.uk/page8.htm#82708 You know those rather slight things that you pick up along lifes journey that stick in your mind so that every time they come up your attention is completely engulfed by themWell maybe you dont.What I should be saying is that I pick up slight things along lifes journey that stick in my mind so that every time they come up my attention is completely engulfed.Thats one of those things that I notice. The fact that people say you when they are describing their own experience. An actor on the radioYou get on the stage and youre fine but just before you get up there your stomach is churning like a tumble dryer and you think youre going to be sick and forget your lines.Do IWhat the actor is really talking about is his own experience and I find it fascinating how people externalise their experiences as if it is too personal to admit to too painful to own or even acknowledge.I notice it with clients as well and often reflect it. Its fascinating how people when invited to take ownership for a... 2010-12-14 09:15:15 http://www.thoughtfulconversations.co.uk/page8.htm#82704 One of the things I sometimes notice in myself when I approach a meeting or conversation is the expectation or hope that the meeting will be concluded with any outstanding issues being resolved. There might be a few ongoing issues and I go into the meeting wanting all of them to be complete by the end of the conversation.If only Real life of course is not like that and indeed it can be very frustrating sometimes to find that far from resolving the issues the conversation might open up further issues or concerns and resolution can seem very far away.Often one of my coaching clients will talk to me about preparing for an important conversationperhaps with a manager a spouse or an important new customer. In addition to any preparation we might do e.g. looking at what needs to be said presence in the conversation etc one of the questions I explore with my clients has to do with their expectations for the conversation being the final conversation and how that might shape their approach.Whe... 2010-12-14 08:44:50